Ask a Stupid Question
by Devil'sEyeAlchemist13
Summary: Ask any Bleach member questions pulled out of my head! Vote for your fav Bleach characters to take the hotseat for pressing and personal questions of all sorts! Accepting requests!
1. Ichigo Kurosaki

**A/N: Once again, I'm going for crack. In questions; no dares. And it's just me and the person! But this time, you'll vote for who you want next. You can have as many votes as you want for as many people/zanpakutos as you want.**

**This includes Tite Kubo-sensei. **

**Because he is awesome. First to the hot seat is Ichigo Kurosaki.**

* * *

Me: Hello Strawberry. Having a juicy day?

Ichigo: You're not a nice person.

Me: I've been told. I hate you as much as you hate being here, so let's get this over with...

Ichigo: How can you hate me? I'm the main character!

Me: Exacta.

Ichigo: Please, don't start being like Findorr...

Me: Fine then...Aizen's bringin' sexy back, just so ya know.

Ichigo: WHAAAAT?!

* * *

**1. Do Hichigo and Zangetsu ever team up to annoy you?**

* * *

Ichigo: What kind of question is that?

Me: *smirks* The kind I ask.

Ichigo: Not really, no. Zangetsu doesn't really like Hichigo that much.

* * *

**2. Was the fight with Aizen a pain in the ass?**

* * *

Ichigo: Now THERE'S a question. Yep, the guy would never shut up. Well, I don't think you could call him a guy anymore at this point. He was a fairy.

*from backstage* I was not a fairy! I was still a man!

Me: *shakes head* For once, I agree with Ichigo. You were scary. You made children hide behind their mothers with your appearance. You had a third eye, your neck snapped for another form, which was creepier then hell; your eyes were two completely different colors...dude, you were just messed up then. But you were still smexy though...

Ichigo: Next question!

* * *

**3. Would you ever work for Aizen?**

* * *

Ichigo: Never. EVER!

Me: Why not? Enlighten me on the reason why you would not want to work under the smexiest man in history, who would've been successful as God, had you not thwarted his plans?

Ichigo: Do I look homo to you?

Me: Yes, frankly, you do. Ever read AiIchi?

Ichigo: What's that?

Me: *whispers in Ichigo's ear*

Ichigo: That's just messed up! God that's so wrong!

Me: But it's so right and you know it damn it!

* * *

**4. Are you gay/bi?**

* * *

Ichigo: Did we not just go over that?

Me: We just went over that you're not gay with Aizen. It could be with Grimmy or Gin...GinIchi would be cool to read, I bet.

Ichigo: *scoots back* You scare me.

Me: I did good then. *smiles a Gin smile*

* * *

**5. Have you ever lost your sword?**

* * *

Ichigo: Yes, actually. Renji stole it and gave it to Tessai, who gave to Urahara, who tried to sell it.

Me: That sucks...

Ichigo: Yeah...Urahara chased me through town with it.

* * *

**6. Rangiku or Orihime?**

* * *

Ichigo: Orihime. Why?

Me: Dude, you're so gay.

Ichigo: WHAT?!

Me: You chose the lady with the smaller of two chests. I'm sure even Ulquiorra and Aizen would choose Matsumoto over Orihime.

*backstage* I would still choose Orihime! She has phenomenon rejection!

Me: And Aizen just put the icing on the cake. You guys are officially together as far as I'm concerned. Happy days!

Ichigo: *runs offstage to kill Aizen*

Me: Come back! It was getting interesting! Oh well...:P

* * *

**Make sure you vote! Have a nice day!**


	2. Gin Ichimaru

**A/N: Hello! I didn't expect votes this quickly! Here is the next chapter! Thank you to BrightWings111 for her numerous votes for Ichimaru. Keep on voting!**

* * *

Me: Hello, Gin!

Gin: Hiya!

Me: Would you rather I draw this out long or just get it over with?

Gin: Please ge' i' over wi'.

Me: No promises.

* * *

**1. Did you ever have braces?**

* * *

Gin: Yep. 2 years.

Me: That's kinda idiotic, don't ya think?

Gin: Why's tha'?

Me: Because you're smiling with your mouth shut the rest of the time.

* * *

**2. What do you think of all the yaoi pairings that include you?**

* * *

Gin: Yaoi? Wha's tha'?

Me: *whispers in his ear*

Gin: No HOMO! Especially with Chibi-chan!

Me: So with your lieutenant is fine?

Gin: NO! *eyes open*

Me: Or with Aizen?

Gin: Sick lecherous bitch...

Me: Who's hosting you, mind you.

Gin: I don' care, yer still sick.

Me: I don't care. It's still yummy...mmm, AiGin...

* * *

**3. If you could be from any anime, where would you go to?**

* * *

Gin: Hidamari Sketch.

Me: You realize that's a show filled with little kids, majority being girls, right?

Gin: Perfectly aware o' tha'.

Me: Hypocrite...

Gin: Wha'?

Me: You called me a sick lecherous bitch about yaoi with you in it. Yet you would rather spend time in a show filled with little girls. That's just wrong.

Gin: Glad we're on the same page then.

* * *

**4. Would you ever get a pet fox?**

* * *

Gin: Nope.

* * *

**5. How 'bout a snake?**

* * *

Gin: Yer not gonna ge' me like tha'.

Me: Aww, come on, Ichi-chan...

* * *

**6. How about if each snake came with a jar of dried persimmons?**

* * *

Gin: Still no. Th' persimmons would eventually run out. The' i' won' be worth i'.

Me: You're no fun...

* * *

**7. Do you think of yourself as a fun person?**

* * *

Me: As if on freaking cue...-_-

Gin: Yep! I mess wi' ev'ryone!

Me: Then wouldn't people think of you as annoying, not fun?

Gin: ...Point taken.

* * *

**8. If you could change anything that happened to you, what would it be?**

* * *

Gin: Don' go afta' Aizen fer revenge.

Me: You just figured that out? I thought you were supposed to be smart!

Gin: I am! I jus' didn' think i' through...

Me: Tite Kubo gave you over a hundred and ten years and you didn't even think it through?!

Gin: No, I didn'.

Me: This is why I'm going to hell. *slaps Gin* You're cute, but you can be such an idiot sometimes. Is it really worth killing yourself like a kamikaze over a girl who already loves you?!

Gin: May~be...

Me: *facepalm* You are a hopeless little fox-faced stalker, ya know that?

Gin: I'm eight inches taller the' ya.

Me: Your point?

Gin: Jus' move on.

* * *

**9. Are you surprised at the number of fangirls you have?**

* * *

Gin: Nah, opposites attract.

Me: Even I don't get that reasoning.

Gin: Cute girls are attracted ta creeps.

Me: Not true. Creeps are attracted to other creeps.

Gin: Wha' makes ya say tha'?

Me: First corollary- Wonderweiss.

Gin: I guess...

Me: Second corollary- Me.

Gin: I don' wanna know.

* * *

**10. Aizen.**

* * *

Gin: Modest idiot wi' a god complex who'll nevah evah be successful.

Me: You forgot smexy hot but we'll accept that.

Gin: *rolls eyes behind eyelids*

Me: That's creepy that you can do that.

* * *

**11. The infamous Hueco Mundo question...is Tosen actually blind?**

* * *

Gin: No he ain't.

Me: :D

Gin: I doodled on 'is visor once. He told me ta stop drawin' flowers on i' a' th' nex' meetin'.

Me: My friend owes me some money then...

* * *

**12. Who's your favorite Espada?**

* * *

Gin: Hm... I'd have ta say Zommari. He don' bother me or anythin', an' I don' bother him.

Me: Meh, I thought you would've said Harribel.

Gin: Why her?

Me: 0.o Dude, she's fresh meat.

Gin: I don' like her. I've said i' before; Ran-chan's th' only one for me!

* * *

**13. Would you bring Izuru and/or Matsumoto with you to Las Noches?**

* * *

Gin: Nah, i's pretty damn borin' there.

Me: I know, right?

* * *

**14. Is Aizen a chromaphobe?**

* * *

Gin: Chromaphobe?

Me: Someone who's afraid of color.

Gin: Nah...othe'wise th' Espada wouldn' have such purdy hair colors. Besides, he's go' tha' pink sash on.

Me: True dat.

*backstage* It's not pink! IT'S FUCHSIA!

Me: Whatever...

* * *

**15. Do you drink?**

* * *

Gin: Not really, why ya ask?

Me: Gin. It's a QUESTION show. I ask questions.

Gin: I realize tha'...I meant tha' one in particular.

Me: Oh...well, your sort-of girlfriend drinks a lot, so I wondered if you did too.

Gin: Oh...I don', no' a lot anymore.

* * *

**16. A question for Shinsou- do you like Gin?**

* * *

Shinsou- He's okay.

Gin: OKAY?!

Shinsou- Calm down, boy. He's nice, but his actions can be a little disturbing sometimes.

* * *

**17. Gin, do you like your zanpakuto?**

* * *

Gin: O' course I do!

Me: *scoots chair back*

Gin: Not tha' way! He's a good weapon.

Me: I would hope so.

* * *

**18. Did Mayuri Kurotsuchi ever freak you out?**

* * *

Gin: Yeah, a' first. The' ya ge' used ta 'im. I think I scared 'im a few times.

Me: How is Mayuri freaky?

Gin: Have ya not seen him?

Me: Of course I have! He's two places below you on my cute guys list.

Gin: Well, where am I?

Me: Second.

Gin: *shivers* Tha's a scary thought...wai', who's above me?

Me: The guy with the fuchsia sash.

*backstage* THANK YOU!

Me: No prob, Aizen...

* * *

**19. What's your favorite song?**

* * *

Gin: I don' ge' ta listen ta music in Hueco Mundo.

Me: That sucks.

Gin: I know. Aizen don' allow i'.

* * *

**20. Did you enjoy your time here?**

* * *

Gin: Well, it gave me somethin ta do. So, I guess.

Me: YAY! You actually survived all twenty questions! *gives him a jar of persimmons* Enjoi.

Gin: *runs off stage with the persimmons* Tha' was hell...

* * *

**Your voting is still open, as always! Just don't vote for Gin or Ichigo; I have a five chapter wait for each character already done. You can start voting for Ichigo again after Chapter 5 and Gin after 6. REVIEW AND VOTE MAH PEEPS!**

**PS: You can also suggest questions! :)**


	3. Sosuke Aizen

**A/N: I'M NOT DEAD! I've just been busy with school and writer's block and I'm ADDICTED TO A SONG! After you read this, go on YouTube and look up "You're gonna go far, kid" by the Offspring. Best. Song. Ever.**

**I've also been told Aizen's being a little OOC. That's sorta the point, people, otherwise he's just a smexy tool.**

**Today's featured guest is, ironically...SOSUKE AIZEN! WOO! **

* * *

Aizen: It's about time.

Me: I would tend to agree with that. You're a fun guy.

Aizen: Fun?

Me: Yes, fun. On with the questions, shall we?

Aizen: Alright then.

* * *

**1. What's up with the butterfly? I mean, seriously, you couldn't have chosen something more manly than a butterfly? Like, a tiger or something? Or if wings have to be there, an eagle or a falcon or something that's actually COOL?!**

* * *

Aizen: I didn't choose the form. It was simply what the Hogyouku changed me into. I would personally agree with you on that.

Me: ...

Aizen: That's what I thought you said.

Me: That's MY LINE DAMMIT!

Aizen: Language.

Me: It's my show; I can say whatever the hell I want.

Aizen: Fine. *clearly pissed*

Me: Sorry.

* * *

**2. And then after that? You made Japanese and American children hide behind their mothers with that. Not cool, man. More like disturbing.**

* * *

Aizen: Same as the last...wait, what DID I actually look like?

Me: You're kidding me. You don't know what you looked like? Would you like some 'Epic' with that fail?

Aizen: I ate before I came; I think I'll skip.

Me: -_- Dude, that wasn't literal. You need to work on your sense of humor.

Aizen: I-

Me: And that DOESN'T mean stealing OTHER PEOPLES' JOKES!

Aizen: ... Just show me the picture.

Me: Better. *pulls up a picture on a laptop*

Aizen: ... That's freaking disturbing. Even for what I put up with being with Szayel, that's disturbing.

Me: Exacta.

Aizen: What?

Me: Exacta.

Aizen: Shut up.

Me: No se exacta.

Aizen: -_- *grabs duct tape*

Me: Alright fine! I'll stop saying exacta! God...

Aizen: :)

* * *

**3. What do you think of all the pairings with you in them?**

* * *

Aizen: Most of them, no, all of them, are absurd.

Me: Aww... but I have favorites!

Aizen: Like what?

Me: You and Gin, you and Shinji and you and Kisuke.

Aizen: Those are some of the worst!

Me: I hate AiHina...?

Aizen: That's the only one that remotely makes any sense!

Me: ...-_-

Aizen: *smirks* Would you like some 'Epic' with that fail?

Me: I don't know...would you like some 'Kicks your ass' with that Chuck Norris?

Aizen: What?

*Chuck Norris runs onstage and roundhouse kicks Aizen in the face*

Aizen: OW! DAMMIT!

Me: Pwn.

* * *

**4. Tofu? Really?**

* * *

Aizen: What? They can flavor it any way you like.

Me: Then what's your favorite?

Aizen: Plain.

Me: Yeah, no. You have no taste. Both literally and metaphorically.

* * *

**5. Are you a chromaphobe?**

* * *

Aizen: No, I'm not afraid of colors. It just looks classier and sophisticated white and black, that's all.

Me: You just answered the most asked question about Las Noches.

Aizen: So...what?

Me: Why would it matter if it looks sophisticated? It's what's inside that counts.

Aizen: That only counts with humans.

Me: Close enough.

Aizen: Close enough only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and small tactical nuclear weapons.

Me: Whatever...

* * *

**6. For God's sake...YOU ARE NOT GOD!**

* * *

Aizen: I know.

Me: You do?

Aizen: Yes. I'm better then God. :)

Me: Really? So you're better then Chuck Norris, the guy who kicked your face earlier?

Aizen: Yes I am. Because I didn't attack him back.

Me: You really have bad reasoning.

* * *

**7. Favorite sport?**

* * *

Aizen: I don't like sports.

Me: There are a lot of things you don't like.

Aizen: Exacta. *smirks*

Me: That's not a good thing.

Aizen: Exacta.

Me: That's annoying.

Aizen: Exacta.

Me: You're not Findorr.

Aizen: Exacta.

Me: Okay then...

Aizen: No se exacta.

Me: What isn't? Grr...Next question!

* * *

**8. Is Tosen blind?**

* * *

Aizen: Yes he is.

Me: But Gin said...

Aizen: Who do you trust more? Me or Ichimaru?

Me: Gin. Hands down.

Aizen: How am I not trustworthy?

Me: Dude, the whole series is BECAUSE of how damn GOOD you are at LYING!

Aizen: I'm not good at lying; I got caught every time.

Me: Only because you told them.

Aizen: How do you know I didn't feel guilty about that?

Me: Because of something I learned from my good friend Doc. She said 'You're giving too many 'What ifs'. (A/N: Shoutout to **DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian s!**)

Aizen: Fine... no he isn't, I'm just very careful when using Kanzen Saimin around him.

Me: Thank you, Sosuke.

* * *

**9. Why does no one except Shinji address you as 'Sosuke'?**

* * *

Aizen: Because he had the right to; he was my captain.

Me: Not even Yamamoto did!

Aizen: He didn't? Oh well.

Me: I think, like, once, he said 'Sosuke Aizen', but it's never just 'Sosuke', minus Shinji.

Aizen: Any more on this?

Me: Sure, why can't Gin address you as Sosuke?

Aizen: He's my subordinate. How would you feel if you lead a squad and they always called you by your first name instead of ma'am?

Me: Dude, I'm thirteen. I don't lead a squad.

Aizen: Hypothetically speaking, how would you feel?

Me: I'd be fine with it.

Aizen: You don't understand the theory of leadership.

* * *

**10. Why did you kill Gin? I mean, sure, he tried to kill you, but couldn't you have at least showed off his death? Not that it would be better, but still!**

* * *

Aizen: Well, that would've got in my way.

Me: You wouldn't have won in the first place. Tite Kubo designs it SO that you don't win, no matter what.

Aizen: I will have-

Me: No, if you kill Tite Kubo, you will disappear. And there will be millions of people after your head, including me. You may be number one, but without Kubo you're just a pretty face.

Aizen: That's all it takes.

Me: Not really...

* * *

**11. Did you legit not know what Gin's bankai was?**

* * *

Aizen: ...

Me: Come on. Speak up, child.

Aizen: I'm not a child. And I claim the fifth.

Me: There is no "I claim the fifth" in Japan.

Aizen: But we're in the USA.

Me: So?

Aizen: There IS "I claim the fifth" here.

Me: That applies to legitimate citizens of the United States only.

Aizen: *holds up naturalization papers* According to the government, I am a legitimate citizen of the United States of America. *smirks*

Me: Damn...

* * *

**12. Who's your favorite captain (that isn't you)?**

* * *

Aizen: Gin.

Me: *marks a check list* One.

* * *

**13. Least favorite captain?**

* * *

Aizen: Hitsugaya.

Me: *marks again* Two.

* * *

**14. Favorite lieutenant?**

* * *

Aizen: I don't really like the lieutenants that much.

Me: You still have to choose.

Aizen: Rukia Kuchiki. She gave me my Hogyouku.

Me: Of course...

* * *

**15. Least favorite lieutenant?**

* * *

Aizen: Probably either Matsumoto or Kira.

Me: *marks again* Strike three.

* * *

**16. Is there even a remote chance of AiGin ever happening?**

* * *

Aizen: NO!

Me: USO!

Aizen: I'm not lying!

Me: Yes you are! *shows him checklist* You had EVERYTHING for AiGin! It will happen!

Aizen: *gets up* No it will NOT! *starts walking offstage*

Me: Get back here! *goes after him* We aren't done yet!

Aizen: Yes we are!

Me: So you're leaving me for Gin, huh?!

Aizen: WHAT?! Who the hell said I was with you?!

Me: Well, you just said we!

Aizen: Only after you said it! I'm out! *walks out the door*

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AIZEN-SAMA COME BACK~!

* * *

**Wow. That was fun. Aizen is very fun to interview in my mind...you know the deal. Vote, wait and laugh. And follow the above author's note and listen to the song mentioned! It's AMAZING!**


	4. Uryuu Ishida and Teh Vandenreich

**A/N: Okay, maybe I don't update anymore...I don't care. Why not? Because it's time to torture some Quincys... I decided since the top vote was for Uryuu, and I've just discovered the horrors (appearance-wise) of the Stern Ritter, the ones in the hot seat are the Vandenreich and Uryuu. This will be fun. MUAHAHAHAH!**

* * *

Me: Welcome, the most hated group of people Tite Kubo has ever created!

Äs Nödt: Well, that's welcoming.

Bambietta: Relax, it could be worse!

Me: HAHAHA! No it couldn't. First question!

Äs Nödt: Meh.

* * *

**1. Uryuu, do you agree with the Vandenreich on their views?**

* * *

Uryuu: Yes and no. I agree with their reasoning, but I don't support the war.

Juhabach: Why not?

Uryuu: Because you're slaughtering people who may not have even been in that invasion!

Äs Nödt: Your point?

Uryuu: It's not right!

Berenice: Neither was the mass genocide of our race, but that still happened. You should really study up on your ancestry, Ishida.

Me: Whatever...

* * *

**2. Vandenreich, if you're against shinigami, then why were you killing arrancars?**

* * *

Äs Nödt: We needed a base. Las Noches was a prime place, and the arrancars were in the way. So they were eliminated.

Me: That's a little overkill, don't cha think?

Bambietta: What do you mean? We didn't overkill anyone; we killed them just the way they should be.

Me: *facepalm* That's not what I meant.

* * *

**3. What do you call those medallions that steal bankais?**

* * *

Berenice: Yeah, I always wondered what they were called!

Bambietta: What ARE they? Pocketwatches?

Äs Nödt: Well, I could call mine Senbonzakura Kageyoshi V.2.

Berenice: That doesn't help the rest of us!

Äs Nödt: You're a Stern Ritter for a reason, Gabrielli. Think for yourself.

Berenice: Um...

Juhabach: They don't have a name. We didn't get a patent for them.

Me: *facepalm* Wait, you can patent stuff like that?

Juhabach: Of course you can! That's why the guy named Kurotsuchi's so famous!

* * *

**4. Are you people German?**

* * *

Bambietta: We're Japanese.

Uryuu: So am I.

Me: But all your stuff is German-ly named!

Bambietta: Not the medallion. :P

Me: Bambietta Basterbine, you know what I mean.

Äs Nödt: That just happened to be the kind of names we liked.

Me: Ah, I get it.

Berenice: You do?

Me: Yeah, you ain't German.

Berenice: Right!

Me: You're all Nazis!

Vandenreich: *facepalm*

* * *

**5. Do you guys know Hitler?**

* * *

Juhabach: Is he a Nazi?

Me: He was, but yes. He was the leader.

Juhabach: We AREN'T NAZIS!

Me: Are you members of the National Socialist party?

Äs Nödt: Yep.

Me: Then you guys are Nazis. Sorry.

* * *

**6. Then are ya European?**

* * *

Äs Nödt: *sigh* For the last time, we are Japanese. Japanese are Asian.

Me: LIES! WHY MUST YOU FEED ME LIES!

Berenice: Because we're the bad guys.

Me: True dat.

* * *

**6. Äs Nödt, why the hell do you look so freaky?**

* * *

Äs Nödt: I don't look weird!

Me: When I first saw you, I fell off my chair from the horror of your face alone. You. Are. Fucking. Scary. Deal with it.

Äs Nödt: AM NOT!

Me: You make children hide behind their mothers, and the moms proceed to grab chainsaws and clubs and beat your ass pretty.

Äs Nödt: *growl*

* * *

**7. Bambietta, you're the only non-freaky Stern Ritter. How do you feel on that?**

* * *

Bambietta: Well, first I gotta say thanks for that!

Me: Thanks accepted.

Bambietta: Would that happen to be because I prefer not to go overkill on my looks? *glares at Berenice*

Berenice: What?

Bambietta: Don't you think styling your hair and putting on makeup is a little too much for just going out to slaughter soul reapers? I mean, they're not necessarily gonna remember you when they're already dead for the second time. And the blood would detract from that anyway. Besides, you're gonna die in action.

Berenice: Next question please...

* * *

**8. Berenice, don't you think that styling your hair and putting on makeup is a little too much for going out to massacre hundreds of soul reapers?**

* * *

Berenice: -_- You just HAD to ask, didn't you.

Me: ...Yes.

Berenice: I do it because the majority of shinigami that I fight are men. Men are distracted by good looks. So, if you throw good looks on a woman into a battle, they're more likely to slip up. And then I'd win. :)

Me: Not if they look at you. It looks like Tosen did your hair and makeup. *smirk*

Berenice: I will kill you for that.

Me: You can't. You're already dead. Twice.

Berenice: I don't like you.

Me: Not a lot of people do. I am an intrapersonal kind of person who's usually surrounded by idiots.

* * *

**9. Uryuu, did your dad ever want you to join the Vandenreich?**

* * *

Uryuu: No, he didn't. He thought that they were too violent. I agree with him.

Me: Okay. Ryuuken made a good call for once...

* * *

**10. Juhabach, who's your freakiest Stern Ritter? Male and female, please.**

* * *

Juhabach: Male? Äs Nödt. Female? Berenice.

Äs Nödt and Berenice: WHAT?!

Juhabach: Äs Nödt, you truly are creepy. I chose Berenice because she's a little worse than Bambietta. Bambietta isn't that freaky, and neither is Berenice, but the latter beats the former.

Me: I love making money off people... :D

* * *

**11. How the HELL did you hurt Kenpachi so bad?! I admit, that's impressive, and I congratulate you on your effort, but HOW?!**

* * *

Uryuu: I think they call that 'teamwork'.

Me: Teamwork?

Uryuu: And sacrifice. After all, Zaraki Kenpachi DID kill four Stern Ritters before he got severely injured.

Bambietta: Exactly! And I took him down!

Me: So it WAS you! *points at Bambietta*

Bambietta: 0.o

Me: Congrats on such a feat!

Bambietta: Talk about bipolar...

Berenice: What about me?!

Juhabach: Kenpachi killed you.

Berenice: Aww...

* * *

**12. This is from my friend: WHY DID YOU KILL BYAKUYA KUCHIKI ÄS NÖDT?!**

* * *

Äs Nödt: Isn't it obvious why?

Me: She still wants to know. Byakuya was one of her fav characters. And you killed him. With his own bankai.

Äs Nödt: And...?

Me: I still say thank you for that. I hated Byakuya more than I do you. And that's a lotta hate. It was cool how you used his bankai against him and he didn't even expect it. Wait, what am I saying? THAT'S FREAKING CHUCK NORRIS EPIC! :D

Äs Nödt: 0.o

Bambietta: You have been shown love.

Äs Nödt: I may like hate more at this point.

* * *

**13. Why arrows and bows instead of mainly swords?**

* * *

Juhabach: We had to be different.

Me: Why not guns?

Juhabach: Too cliché.

Me: Why would you care? You're all gonna lose.

Juhabach: No we aren't!

Me: Dude, Tite Kubo designs the series so that by some twist of events, Ichigo and the good guys will always win.

Juhabach: Give me one example of that.

Me: Aizen.

Bambietta: Who?

Me: Do I need to explain the story?

Bambietta, Berenice and Äs Nödt: Yes. Yes you do.

Me: Fine. Basically, he was the captain of squad five, but he betrayed Soul Society and tried to take over and stand upon the heavens. Ichigo eventually beat him in a battle where Urahara technically beat him, but the credit still goes to Ichigo. If it hadn't been for Kisuke Urahara, Ichigo would be dead, Aizen would be ruling your creepy asses and I would be the happiest person in the world.

Äs Nödt: 0_0

* * *

**14. Who would you rather be 'researched' by; Mayuri Kurotsuchi or Szayel Apporo Granz?**

* * *

Uryuu: Is none an option?

Me: Of course it isn't.

Uryuu: Szayel. I'd die a somewhat heroic death and be remembered more.

Vandenreich: Mayuri.

Me: Similar reasons?

Bambietta: Yep.

* * *

**15. ...Why can't I think of anything more to ask you?**

* * *

Juhabach: Because you feel guilt for torturing us? :)

Me: Nah...

Äs Nödt: Because you want us to die?

Me: Although I do want you to die BADLY, no.

Berenice: Because you like my 'do?

Me: No. It looks utterly ridiculous.

Bambietta: Because you want us to leave? :)

Me: ...That works. :D

Vandenreich: *rush offstage*

Uryuu: Well, thank you for having us... *leaves*

Me: Die, die Quincy die.

* * *

**Yes, it was a massive set. Not really...they're the only ones I remember. I hate Quincys. THEY'RE GOING TO KILL KIRA! D,: And Kenpachi is basically sliced Swiss cheese about now. You have to wait for the following:**

**Ichigo: 1 chapter**

**Gin: 2 chapters**

**Aizen: 3 chapters**

**Uryuu: 4 chapters**

**Vandenreich: 4 chapters**

**But otherwise, vote for whoever you want! REVIEW AND VOTE!**


	5. Kisuke Urahara

**A/N: I AM NOT DEAD! And I hope I won't be. I don't wanna die!**

** Unless I actually get to go to Soul Society. Then, I'll join the Onmitsukidou, break into Muken, and I think you all get where I'm headed with this. Anyway, today is the man who TRULY beat Aizen...**

** It is with great honor that I bring to you Kisuke Urahara!**

* * *

Me: Kisuke! Welcome!

Kisuke: Hi kids! *waves fan*

Me: You get the point!

Kisuke: Huh?

Me: And you lost it...

Kisuke: So...*whistles*

Me: Oh, questions...derp.

* * *

**1. Where did you get your awesome hat?**

* * *

Kisuke: Awesome? It's just a hat.

Me: But that's what makes it awesome...it's just a hat. That you wear.

Kisuke: To be honest, I found it in a road.

Me: A road?

Kisuke: That's how I ended up in Soul Society.

Me: *whines* Aww...

* * *

**2. How's your marriage with Yoruichi going?**

* * *

Kisuke: It's going fine.

Me: No problems?

Kisuke: Yep. No problems.

Me: Interesting.

* * *

**3. What's REALLY in Jinta's backpack?**

* * *

Kisuke: What kind of a question's that?!

Me: One that we want you to answer.

Kisuke: I don't know.

* * *

**4. Are you sure you don't know?**

* * *

Kisuke: I'm sure I don't know.

Me: But that's impossible!

* * *

**5. Do you want to know what's in Jinta's backpack?**

* * *

Kisuke: By the fact that you keep bringing it up, I'm not sure I wanna know anymore.

Me: Yer no fun.

Kisuke: Neither is Foxface. He's just creepy and annoying.

*backstage* Tha' ain't nice, Hat 'n Clogs!

Kisuke: I'm well aware Gin! That's the point!

* * *

**6. Who do you think beat Aizen? You or Ichigo?**

* * *

Kisuke: All Ichigo did was show off.

Me: So did you.

Kisuke: Let me reiterate that; all Ichigo DID is show off.

Me: I'm not following this.

Kisuke: *sigh* I actually dealt the final blow.

Me: That's better. And yes you did.

* * *

**7. Would you kill Mayuri if you had the chance?**

* * *

Kisuke: No. I don't see a reason to.

Me: HALLEJUHLA!

Kisuke:  
I don't get it.

Me: Everyone hates Mayuri except me...

* * *

**8. Would you like to leave?**

* * *

Kisuke: ...Yeah.

Me: Okay. I have nothing left to ask.

Kisuke: *modestly gets up, shakes Creator's hand and calmly leaves*

Me: Now why can't everyone leave like that?

Aizen: Because they're not sophisticated.

Me: Shut up.

* * *

**I'm sorry, but I seriously had nothing to ask him. Or anyone for that matter. Ichigo is now available for voting again. So VOTE, LIKE, LOVE and REVIEW!**

**Standings:**

**Gin Ichimaru- 1 chapter(s)**

**Sosuke Aizen- 2 chapter(s)**

**Uryuu Ishida- 3 chapter(s)**

**Vandenreich- 3 chapter(s)**

**Kisuke Urahara- 4 chapter(s)**

**Orihime Inoue- 1 vote(s)**

**Hiyori Sarugaki- 1 vote(s)**

**Renji Abarai- 1 vote(s)**

**Shinji Hirako- 1 vote(s)**

**Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- 1 vote(s)**

**Izuru Kira- 1 vote(s)**


	6. Renji Abarai

**A/N: A pineapple challenged a moose to a race. The pineapple said he had a trick up his sleeve, so he thought he'd win. The moose trained hard for weeks.**

**Then the day of the race came. The moose ran so fast his hooves were on fire; he was going at the speed of light. He comes back to the finish line (it was a lap run), and the pineapple is on his side, five feet behind the finish line.**

**The moral of the story: Pineapples don't have sleeves.**

**Now, why did I tell you this extremely freakin' stupid story (Which also happened to be on a 2010-2011 NYS English Final)? Because today's guest...is a pineapple.**

**Please give a warm welcome for Renji Abarai! :) **

* * *

Me: Hi Renji!

Renji: Hello!

Me: Are you ready for some questions?

Renji: Sure, hit me with 'em.

* * *

**1. Would you dye your hair any other color besides red?**

* * *

Renji: Maybe black. But otherwise probably not.

Me: What about pink? Or blue?

Renji: But that wouldn't work!

Me: It doesn't have to work. It just has to look stupider than you do now.

* * *

**2. How many pairs of sunglasses have gotten broken/lost/destroyed/ disintegrated/confiscated/etc.?**

* * *

Renji: Seventeen, I think.

Me: Were they cheap?

Renji: Oakley's...

Me: Ooh, that's expensive.

Renji: But they look really cool!

Me: Sure, okay Mr. Godfather Pineapple.

Renji: ?

Me: I found a picture of you holding a gun and wearing sunglasses titled "Renji meets the Godfather".

Renji: Oh, that...

* * *

**3. Why are you a pineapple?**

* * *

Renji: Um, what?

Me: The question didn't studder.

Renji: But I'm not!

Me: Sure, okay.

* * *

**4. Why are you denying you're a pineapple?**

* * *

Renji: Why am I deny- because I'M NOT A PINEAPPLE!

Me: Yes you are!

Renji: What makes you think I'm a pineapple?!

Me: Two things.

Renji: One?

Me: One, your hair. *hands him a mirror*

Renji: ...Understandable. And two?

Me: You have the intelligence of a pineapple, frankly.

Renji: *fuming* I do NOT have the intelligence of a pineapple!

Me: You're right; I'm giving you too much credit.

* * *

**5. *rips off Renji's sleeves* There.**

* * *

Renji: What the hell was that for?!

Me: Did you not hear my story? *points to AN* Pineapples don't have sleeves.

Renji: *smoke coming out of ears*

Me: What? You can't handle the truth?

* * *

**6. Do you like Byakuya?**

* * *

Renji: He's a prick. A respectable prick, but a prick.

Me: He's a royal pain in the ass.

*offstage* I can hear you, Lieutenant Abarai!

Me: That's the point, dumbass! *sigh* He's such an idiot.

* * *

**7. Chimp or Snakey?**

* * *

Renji: Aww, do I have to choose?  
Me: Yes.

Renji: I'm not gonna!

Me: Child.

* * *

**8. If you, Chimp and Snakey were stuck on a deserted island, who would you eat first: Chimp, or Snakey. And no, you can't eat yourself, starve or have them eat you or starve. One of you is going to get eaten.**

* * *

Renji: So now I really have to choose?

Me: Yep. Checkmate.

Renji: I'm gonna have to say Chimp.

Me: And why is that?

Renji: Because he lasts longer. It takes more time to eat a monkey then it does to eat a snake, so I'd live longer.

Me: ... That's disturbing thinking.

Renji: I know...

Me: But it does make sense.

Renji: Okay, good.

* * *

**9. Is there anything you would like the general public to know about?**

* * *

Renji: Yes there is.

Me: Someone's coming out of the closet~!

Renji: *stands up* First, I am not dating anyone. That includes Rukia, Byakuya, Uryuu, Aizen, Ichigo or anyone else. Second, I am not a pineapple. Third, I am not as dumb as I look. I was higher in my graduating class then Rukia. And fourth, will someone kill this host already? Preferably Aizen or Gin; they'll make her die a slow, painful and torturous death that everyone will laugh at, eat popcorn at and all in all, enjoy. *Sits back down*

Me: ... I will kill you for that! *runs backstage* Actually, I won't! *grabs Aizen* He'll kill you instead!

Aizen: Excuse me?!

Me: Aizen! Time to show off your kitchen skills! Today's treat is diced pineapple. *points to Renji* The kitchen awaits!

Aizen: That's not what the kitchen wants.

Me: How do you know?! This ain't your kitchen!

Aizen: Everything is mine. And today, the critics want 'La chair humaine'. *raises Kyouka Suigetsu*

Me: Dude, I don't take French; I take Spanish. But I'd prefer English.

Aizen: Human flesh. *swings at me*

Me: Shit... I pissed off Aizen... I'm dead. Uh, this has been Ask A Stupid Question! AHH! *ducks another swing* EASY ON THE HUMAN! *runs away*

* * *

**A/N: I'm safe for now...I don't have time to give stats, but now you can vote for Gin again. Izuru's in the lead, followed by Orihime. Now, I gotta run before- EEK! *dodges Aizen's sword again* I can't believe I'm saying this, but... GOD DAMN YOUR SOUL TO HELL AND BACK SOSUKE AIZEN! GAH!**


	7. Izuru Kira

**A/N: No, I will not go through the whole 'I'm not dead' thing again. Listen, no matter HOW LONG I'm gone, I'm not dead, okay? I'm harder to kill then Aizen.**

**Just not as much as a troll though.**

**Speaking of death, today's guest is one where we're not sure whether he's did or not, and Kubo hasn't given us anything about him in about seven months. KUBO IS A TROLL! Anyway, please give a warm welcome to Izuru Kira, who received a staggering 40+ votes, all by the same person. Brighty, you're nuts.**

* * *

Me: Hey, it's you!

Kira: Hello!

Me: You seem cheery today.

Kira: It's Easter; why not?

Me: Touché.

* * *

**1. So, are you really dead?**

* * *

Kira: Why would I tell?

Me: Dude, that's probably one of the worst questions you can ask here. It's a QUESTION AND ANSWER show, not a SPECULATION show.

Kira: I'm not gonna say.

Me: Damn it!

* * *

**2. Do you like Rose as a captain?**

* * *

Kira: Well, he's certainly different from Ichimaru.

Me: That he is.

Kira: But yeah, he's a good captain.

Me: Well that's good!

Kira: :)

* * *

**3. Okay, if you could have anyone as a captain, who would it be?**

* * *

Kira: Does the person have to be a captain?

Me: Nope.

Kira: Hmm...I'd say either Ichimaru or Urahara.

Me: Okay, Ichimaru I was expecting, but...Kisuke?

* * *

**4. Why?**

* * *

Kira: Ichimaru? Or Urahara?

Me: Well, you'd say Gin because you're used to him being your captain, right.

Kira: Yes.

Me: So why Urahara?

Kira: Well, he seems like a pretty cool guy, plus he's strong; you saw how he took on Aizen.

Me: *to backstage* DON'T. SAY. ANYTHING! *back to Izuru* Continue.

Kira: What was that about?

Me: Well, usually Aizen would say some witty retort about how it wasn't Kisuke who beat him; that it is all a part of his plan that is apparently still going on.

Kira. Ah...that makes sense.

* * *

**5. If you could be in any anime, what would it be?**

* * *

Kira: That's a tough one.

Me: Why? Cause there's so many out there?

Kira: Because there's so few good ones.

Me: This is true.

Kira: I'd say Angel Beats.

Me: Aww...that's epic!

* * *

**6. How do you get your hair like that?**

* * *

Kira: Hair gel.

Me: That's it.

Kira: A lot of it.

Me: Why?

Kira: It looks cool.

Me: This is true. Very true. And it doesn't smell like Axe!

Kira: It's not.

Me: Yay! I hate Axe. So bad smelling. *turns to backstage* NO COMMENTS AIZEN! NONE AT ALL!

* * *

**7. Are you ready for the taboo questions?**

* * *

Kira: Wait, what?

Me: Great! Let's get started!

Kira: Wait! What are these?!

* * *

**8. Are you in a relationship with Gin?**

* * *

Kira: What?! No!

Me: Denial's not just a river in Egypt~

Kira: It's also a noun.

Me: Very good! Most people don't get that!

Kira: Really? It's kinda simple.

Me: I know.

Kira: But NO!

* * *

**9. Is he in a relationship with you?**

* * *

Kira: That's the same as the last one!

Me: No it's not. The first one is with your permission. This one isn't.

Kira: Still! NO! That's just disgusting!

* * *

**10. Are you prejudiced against gays?!**

* * *

Kira: No! No, I'm not! I'm just prejudiced about people who think I'm in a relationship with Gin or vice versa! I'm straight!

Me: Hold on one second... *Gets up and walks out the door* *Screams at the sky* WHY GOD?! WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE GinZuru REAL?! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST GREAT YAOI PAIRINGS LIKE AiGin AND GinjoTsuki! *takes deep breath* *walks back inside and sits down* There; got that out of my system.

Kira: -_-' I didn't sign up for this...

Me: You got voted for this; this is an oligarchy, not a democracy. And you actually got voted for by one person.

Kira: Huh?! Then why am I here?!

Me: Because she happened to vote about 45 times for you. XP

* * *

**11. Do you think you have a drinking problem?**

* * *

Kira: No...Why, do I?

Me: No.

Kira: That's a relief.

Me: So you DID think you have a drinking problem!

Kira: What? No!

Me: Denial's-

Kira: A noun.

Me: Dammit, you caught me.

Kira: Ha ha.

Me: Don't get cocky.

* * *

**12. Momo or Rangiku?**

* * *

Kira: Why?

Me: Just pick.

Kira: Momo. Now, why do I have to choose!

Me: SEE MIRA?! AiHina DOES NOT EXIST! It's HinaZuru and GinRan for the win! In! Your! FACE!

Kira: I'm starting to not like that person who voted for me.

Me: Why?

Kira: You're nuts. *walks offstage*

Me: Every time. Every freaking time. Except for Gin. No, he ran off after it was done. So yeah, every freaking time.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, you can start voting for Aizen again. After next chapter, you can start voting for Uryuu and/or the Vandenreich again! Now, equivalent exchange. Vote. Here are your standings.**

* * *

**Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck- 9 vote(s)**

**Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- 9 vote(s)**

**Orihime Inoue- 4 vote(s)**

**Ulquiorra Schiffer- 4 vote(s)**

**Gin Ichimaru- 2 vote(s)**

**Hiyori Sarugaki- 1 vote(s)**

**Shinji Hirako- 1 vote(s)**

**Shunsui Kyouraku- 1 vote(s)**

**Keigo Asano- 1 vote(s)**

**Soi Fang- 1 vote(s)**

**Soken Ishida- 1 vote(s)**

**Mayuri Kurotsuchi- 1 vote(s)**

**Byakuya Kuchiki- 1 vote(s)**

* * *

**And the wait periods:**

**Uryuu Ishida- 1 chapter(s)**

**Vandenreich- 1 chapter(s)**

**Kisuke Urahara- 2 chapter(s)**

**Renji Abarai- 3 chapter(s)**

**Izuru Kira- 4 chapter(s)**


End file.
